There is nothing quite like the THRILL and TERROR (mainly terror) of sharing one of your biggest insecurities with the entire internet!!!! Everyone should do it. Super good for you, keeps you humble. Here we go.
I have acne. dun dun DUN. I have been struggling with acne for pretty much forever. It started in high school (as it does) and just never really went away.
I would like to take a quick moment to explicitly state that I am not looking for your “incredible” acne cures and remedies or this AMAZING new product that I MUST try. And I swear to the goddesses, if you try to sell me anything, I will unsubscribe from our relationship forever. If you think I haven’t heard about it, read about it, bought it, tried it – you are wrong. I have.
(Disregard the above entirely if you are offering to pay for my entire skincare regimen. In that case, let’s talk.)
Some things have worked, some things have been a mega waste of money. More often than not, the things that have worked have been mega “wastes” of money.
Having struggled with acne for as long as I can remember, I KNOW what you are supposed to do: drink more water, wash your face twice a day, use all sort of different concoctions of expensive and fancy things, etc. etc. Check. Check and Check. I don’t even sleep in my makeup anymore! (Shut up. I already know that this was/is a bad idea. But, so is drinking until 2a.m.)
But the biggest factor in my struggle with acne is feeling like I always need to hide or shield the world from my struggling skin. Because NO ONE wants to be that girl – Not at 16 and CERTAINLY not at 26, as you are trying to pave a way in your career and find the potential love of your life. Every morning as I put on my makeup, I knew that this was not a forward step towards my recovering skin. But, what was the alternative? Let the world know that I am struggling with skin? HAHAH, never.
Then one morning, I just didn’t put foundation on. And ya know what – the world kept spinning. I am CERTAIN that my coworkers noticed, because hi, how can you not. But not single one of them looked at me like the monster I often feel like sans makeup. (dramatic, yes. invalid, not to me.) Because they don’t care what my skin looks like without makeup and I shouldn’t either.
The mental shift from covering up my skin to going foundation-free hasn’t been an easy one from a self-confidence perspective. Especially since I come from the “look good, feel good” school of thought. In fact, the “unveiling” my insecurity in my day-to-day life (and now on the internet) has been a little nerve-wracking. But it’s getting less so every day. And my skin is getting better every day.
To those of you who have never had to struggle with acne (I’m jealous), you probably are struggling to understand why this is such a big deal for me. I very clearly know that it could be much worse. I know that. But to not feel comfortable in your own skin without 15 minutes of perfectly applied concealer and foundation is not a cute or fun feeling. And feeling that feeling for 10+ years without an end in sight makes this transition even more terrifying.
I’m not here to proselytize. Because frankly, I am not qualified. I have no idea what I am doing and it took me SEVERAL YEARS to take the steps I knew I needed to take (i.e. no makeup 24/7). I am simply here to share my insecurities that I KNOW other people struggle with. And to communicate to those who have always had *flawless* skin and do not begin to understand the struggle, KINDLY find someone else to whine about your tiny zit that you “NEVER get” which ultimately disappears in 2 hours.
So, for all my girls (and guys!) struggling with acne: I hear you. I am you. And I am so sorry that you must deal with this in addition to all the other adulating bullshit. Your skin doesn’t define you and you too can break free from work day makeup. Promise.